The Millipede

by The Millipede

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credits

released 12 October 2012

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about

The Millipede Austin, Texas

The Millipede:
Frank Humungus: Vocals
Jack Burden: Guitar/Vocals
Ethan Morris: Drums
Dan Smith: Bass
Stephanie Smuts: Vocals

Austin's first, best and only SuperRadAwesome Core band! Decimating the world's beer supply and replacing it with musical tales of epic nerdery since 2009!
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Track Name: Brocktoon
Streaks on the china? Never mattered before. Who cares?
When you drop-kicked your jacket when you walked through the door? No one glared.
And sometimes things get turned around and no one's spared.
All hands look out below.
There's a change to the status quo.
We could use all the help we can get.
According to our new arrival,
Life is more than mere survival.
We just might live the good life yet.
Track Name: Cobra
Do you feel like you're being held down? Do you feel like the game is fixed?
Do you feel like you've got a little less every day? Do you want some more? Will you fight for it?
Have you thought of a career in global domination? It's a booming industry.
You can travel the globe, making shit explode, be a man of action and mystery.

Trouble Bubbles come from the sky,
We may retreat, but we never die.
We tend to over use our battle cry of "Cobra!"
We've got the best tech money can buy,
And although our plans tend to go awry,
We strike terror with our battle cry of "Cobra!"

Vacations paid, and a really nice 401K, so join up today
GI Joe's a bunch of fools, let's go Cobra, Cobra rules.

We've got a position open for a Weather Dominator operator, all training is paid.
We've got a program for a Battle Android Trooper technician, it's an in demand trade.
They serve chicken fried steak in the Terrordrome mess hall every Friday,
And with our M.A.S.S. Device, the whole world will think twice when we teleport the Eiffel Tower away.

Trouble Bubbles come from the sky,
We may retreat, but we never die.
We tend to over use our battle cry of "Cobra!"
We've got the best tech money can buy,
And although our plans tend to go awry,
We strike terror with our battle cry of "Cobra!"

You get hazard pay and 20 sick and personal days,
So join up right away.

Look out Joe, get outta my way
I got a HISS Tank sucka, so you know I don't play
I had a custom lunch box specially made
In the picture on the front, we're winning the day
While you're wasting time with your PSA's
Our master plan's already under way
The first to fall: the USA
Then we're gonna make the whole world obey
Cobra
Track Name: Let Loose The Kraken
Open your eyes, look to the sky.
Aint no baby Jesus comin' down to save us now.
We're on our own.
Zombies rising, flipper babies, ninja werewolves, and giant squids
We're totally fucked, so fuck the world
It's time to get it on

Tonight
Let it loose
Let loose the Kraken
The horror show has landed here
Abandon hope and know no fear
Embrace your inescapable fate
And let's get it on, it's not too late
Why are you fighting this?
Let it loose, and give it a kiss
You know we're all destined for the abyss
Tonight

You think that we can all band together
And save the world, or even weather
The coming storm
There's no escape
A goblin army, led by Dracula, riding a tyrannosaurus rex
Fuck that, let's get it on

Tonight
Let it loose
Let loose the Kraken
The horror show has landed here
Abandon hope and know no fear
Embrace your inescapable fate
And let's get it on, it's not too late
Why are you fighting this?
Let it loose, and give it a kiss
You know we're all destined for the abyss
Tonight

When the rivers run red with the blood of the dead
And I gotta getcha getcha back to my bed
And you wanna run away, but look outside
There aint gonna be no place to hide
When the meteors fall down from the sky
Swarms of killer bees and Brundle Flies
And the monkeys with nunchucks, rising up to conquer us
Chuck-E-Cheese robots with laser eyes
And the sideshow freaks bent on revenge
"One of us, one of us", on a murder binge, callin'
For Cthulhu to reclaim his throne, he's beckoning
Leading his armies of zombie pygmies with little tiny spears
Fire breathing baby elephants, flying with their ears
And the monkeys with nunchucks, rising up to conquer us
Chuck-E-Cheese robots with laser eyes
Track Name: Wizard Cloak
Spelltron the lawful neutral elven wizard is exploring dark and evil ancient catacombs.
Spot check roll one D20, got a 6, you fail, a poison trap explodes, you roll your saving throw.
You get a 12, you need 14, but with your modifier it's 15, no damage, that was close.
Random encounter, roll a 9 and then a 7 so I check the module, you disturbed a troll.

You both roll initiative.
You get a 4, he gets a 6.
With casting time, you still go first, you cast a magic missile.
Calculate the to hit armor class.
It's 8, you roll a 20 sided die,
A 6, but when we factor in your bonuses for
Race and class you get plus 3, now hit, now calculate the damage
Trolls this level have one hit dice, you hit it for 8 so it died.

WIZARD:
Oh, wizard cloak,
Found you in a chest of silver and enchanted oak.
Oh, wizard cloak, teleport me to the astral plane, assist in casting spells most arcane
Till the beast is slain, and now songs will be sung, and tales will be told of my glorious victory over this villainous troll.
TROLL: Oh, I'm a troll
Making friends with Ettercaps, Grey Oozes, and Umber Hulk.
In my dungeon home, there's no acid or fire here to cause me pain. Hey, and I don't claim to be perfect, but there's nothing I would change.

TROLL: I am just a simple troll.
WIZARD: I am a wizard searching for lost dwarven gold.
TROLL: I'm on my midnight stroll.

WIZARD: I am neither young nor old.
TROLL: I'm middle aged but keeping fit.
WIZARD: My body could use work so I am told.

WIZARD: I hear the shamblings of some evil creature on patrol.
TROLL: I see an odd advancing bluish glow.

WIZARD: The thing growls suddenly.
TROLL: I did not expect company, I raise my hand to give him a hello.

WIZARD: Just before its talons reach my neck.
TROLL: A stranger's just a friend I have not met.
WIZARD: Let loose my arcane energy and cast a magic missile.
TROLL: Oh shit, a magic missile!

WIZARD: Just one hit is all it takes to kill.
I am amazed with my own skill.
I'll leave the stinking corpse here rotting to display my power as a warning to the other evil slimy ugly creatures who infest these ancient halls, I'll hunt them down and kill them all.

TROLL: Why'd he kill me?
Oh, my family.
I will miss my wife and children very much.
I shed a single tear as I die.
Track Name: Spock
Who's the pointy eared Science Officer who's a sex machine to all the chicks?
*Spock*
Once every seven years.

Under pressure, he won't choke, but he never gets the joke.
*Spock*
Can ya dig it?

Who can pinch you on the neck, leave you laid out on the deck?
*Spock*
You're damn right.

They say this cat Spock's a bad mother..
*That's illogical*
But I'm talkin' about Spock.
*Fascinating*

He's a complicated man, and no one understands him but Nurse Chapel
*Mister Spock*
Track Name: Captain Kirk Karate
I come down from the starship Enterprise
Look at me funny and I bust you in the eye
Will you never learn that you shouldn't even ever try?

I don't know what you think you want from me
I could teach you, but you couldn't afford the fee
But wear the red shirt and I'll let you in free.

I'm gonna start my own karate school, and we'll rule (we'll rule) like Cobra Kai
I know you got the fever for the flavor of danger
Come on, baby, won't you let me take you for a ride?

Fly
Through the air
Feet first
I know you're scared
Kick you
And I fall down, that's Captain Kirk Karate
Club
You in the spine
Fingers
Intertwined
Break your hands
If you tried, but I know Captain Kirk Karate

Finnegan laughed at me back in academy days
But I beat him down, left him walkin around in a haze
What you gotta say now, with blood all over your face?

Yeah, Kang and Koloth always step to me
Talkin bout I'ma be speakin Klingonese
How you gonna look eatin' Gagh with no teeth?

Undefeated, hit you like depleted uranium in your cranium, droppin you to your knees.
Oh, I know you think you got the strength of 5 men, but Khan, do you really think you can handle this?

Fly
Through the air
Feet first
I know you're scared
Kick you
And I fall down, that's Captain Kirk Karate
Club
You in the spine
Fingers
Intertwined
Break your hands
If you tried, but I know Captain Kirk Karate

What you see has been handed down from the time of the beginning without change
This is the Vulcan heart.
This is the Vulcan soul.
This is Captain Kirk Karate.

Fly
Through the air
Feet first
I know you're scared
Kick you
And I fall down, that's Captain Kirk Karate
Club
You in the spine
Fingers
Intertwined
Break your hands
If you tried, but I know Captain Kirk Karate (x2)

Khan! (x3)
Track Name: Super Vampire Whip Man
Immediately start outside
Hit to candle, your whip is very large
Chased by zombies that are entering the castle
Find more death and weapons
Now fight a giant bat
You wield a battle axe, that's how I beat him
This level is one

I am the Super Vampire Whip Man:
Shimon Berumonto
Never before seen by human eyes:
Warlord chromosomes
In Chansutoranshiruvania
Where the demon roams
Led by the assembly poised to bury mankind
I search for throwing the devil and other evil zombie like maze of fire

Your journey has just begun
Through the castle of darkness, the baby begins to rise
Medusa's minions do not know a lot of friends
Holy water in my hands
To break the Mummy's curse
Take not the silver knife, the water burns them
Now 2 and 3 done

I am the Super Vampire Whip Man:
Shimon Berumonto
Never before seen by human eyes:
Warlord chromosomes
In Chansutoranshiruvania
Where the demon roams
Led by the assembly poised to bury mankind
I search for throwing the devil and other evil zombie like maze of fire

Heroically bear fatigue
In the dungeon, is waiting for you death
His great and mighty scythe is terrible and rapid
Beyond clock tower gears
the final challenge waits
Your destiny revealed, he is defeated
This battle is won

I am the Super Vampire Whip Man:
Shimon Berumonto
Never before seen by human eyes:
Warlord chromosomes
In Chansutoranshiruvania
Where the demon roams
Led by the assembly poised to bury mankind
I search for throwing the devil and other evil zombie like maze of fire
Track Name: The Wire: Season Six
When you walk through the garden
You better watch your back
And I beg your pardon
Walk the straight and narrow track
When you walk with Jesus
He's gonna save your soul
But you gotta keep the Devil
Way down in the hole

He's got the fire and the fury
At his command
But you don't need to worry
Hold onto Jesus hand
He'll keep you safe from Satan
When the thunder rolls
But you gotta keep the Devil way down in the hole

All the angels sing
About Jesus' mighty sword
They'll shield you with their wings
And keep you close to the Lord
Don't pay heed to temptation
Cause his hands are so cold
But you gotta keep the Devil way down in the hole
Track Name: I Like Flowers
Rape bloody blister, eat a bug.
Fuck an invalid, corn cob up your ass.
I like flowers, they smell good.
I like bunnies, they are cute.

Rip anal orifice with a fork.
Sleep in a flaming bed of shit.
I like flowers, they smell good.
I like your mother, she is nice.

I like flowers, they are pretty.
I like midgets dressed like clowns.
I like Satan a lot.
I like Satan.
Track Name: Green Sabbath
What is this that stands before me?
Big green hand which points at me
Turn around quick and start to run
The smashing's only just begun
Oh, Hulk

Purple pants ripped up and dangly
You won't like him when he's angry
He's got tons of gamma rays
Fuckin up his DNA's
Oh no, please God help me

Is this the end my friend?
Hulk is coming around the bend
People running cause they're scared
The Leader better go and beware
Oh no, please, Hulk
No
Track Name: The Attack Of The Enormous Skeletons From Pluto
With a sonic boom and a cracking tomb, they slowly come to life
They deal in death and rotting flesh, they leave the blood to rust the knife
We'll see our cities burn and turn into apocalyptic hell on earth
And when they come, if they take recruits, I'll be in that line first

The attack of the enormous skeletons from Pluto (x2)

Well, now they're here, our end is near
Ships entering our atmosphere
All blaring heavy metal ballads to fill us with fear
Their engines blaze, their lasers laze
No puny mortal human safe
And when I die, I'll come back to life
Rise up from my grave and join

The attack of the enormous skeletons from Pluto (x4)

They rape the galaxy
Bring planets to their knees
All that they want is war
A universe of blood and gore
When they eradicate you
They'll bring you back to life and make you
Fight for eternity
Be a skeleton just like me

The attack of the enormous skeletons from Pluto (x8)
Track Name: Torgo
I've been working for the Master
As long as I can remember
I've got really big knees, but I aim to please
Manos The Hands Of Fate

I'm looking after the homestead
Till Manos comes back from the dead
I've got really big knees, but I aim to please
Manos The Hands Of Fate

And I'm Torgo
I'm just your average joe
Sure, I move slow, but hey, I'm Torgo
Torgo

And then one day, a young family came and insisted that they stay
They said that I was kooky, and the painting of the Master was really spooky
They feared for their lives, while I was getting busy with Manos' wives
Trying to get a date, which really pissed off
Manos The Hands Of Fate

Manos decreed my final breath
So his wives tried to Rolf me to death
I got really big knees, but I failed to please
Manos The Hands Of Fate

And I'm Torgo
I'm just your average joe
Sure, I move slow, but I'm never late
For Manos
The Hands Of Fate
Track Name: Amazing Horse
Look at my horse, my horse is amazing
Give it a lick
Mmmm, it tastes just like raisins
Have a stroke of his mane
He turns into a plane
And then he turns back again
When you tug on its winky
Ooh, that's dirty!
Do you think so?
Well, I better not show you where the lemonade is made

Sweet lemonade, yeah sweet lemonade (x4)

Get on my horse
I'll take you 'round the Universe
And all the other places too
I think you'll find that the Universe pretty much covers everything
Shut up woman, get on my horse
Track Name: Deadinator X
I heard he took the Lord Humungus,
Fucked him in his bohunkus,
And told him to "just walk away".
Dead dead, Deadinator X

He's got cold lifeless eyes,
Black eyes, like a doll's eyes,
They roll back white just before he strikes.
Dead dead, Deadinator X

They built him from the pieces
Of a dozen action hero clones
He's more than human, less than a man
No name, no soul, doomed to walk the Earth alone

His skills, yeah, they're unsurpassed
If he likes you, he'll kill you last.
He lied, he won't kill you last.
Dead dead, Deadinator X

He lives to crush his enemies,
To see them driven before him,
Hear the women's lamentations.
Dead dead, Deadinator X

They built him from the pieces
Of a dozen action hero clones
He's more than human, less than a man
No name, no soul, doomed to walk the Earth alone

Sometimes Deadinator X wets the bed.
Don't tell him that I told you, or he'll cut off both of our heads.
He's a sweet boy really.
Love to leave this all behind,
Just as soon as he eviscerates all of his enemies.

He'll bust into your hut,
Throw a knife into your gut,
And tell you to stick around.
Dead dead, Deadinator X

He killed an army one by one
In the jungles of Vietnam
With a knife and some arrow bombs
Dead dead, Deadinator X
Dead dead, Deadinator X
Dead dead, Deadinator X
Track Name: B.R.D. (Obligatory Ballad)
I got a tube top tan, got no time to waste
I got a big, big butt and a bag on my face
I got a gun in my hand, and I mean to squeeze
I got a really really really bad skin disease

And I grab on to ya, pretty little momma
And I hold you close to me
Because I got these 3 little words that I really wanted to say:
Big rubber dick

I got a real mean look on the front of my head
I got this crazy idea, I'd prefer you dead
I got a mouth full of germs, and there's more in my bed
I got a big rubber dick and some spendin' bread

And I grab on to ya, pretty little momma
And I hold you close to me
Because I got these 3 little words that I really wanted to say:
Big rubber dick

I got a little hepatitis from a toilet seat
I got a worm in my brain from some tainted meat
I got pubic lice, but they're too small to see
I got a big rubber dick, and some anal beads

And I grab on to ya, pretty little momma
And I hold you close to me, yeah yeah
Because I got these 3 little words that I really wanted to say:
Big rubber dick